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Everywhere always.

03 Mar
Julian in Times Square on August 24, 2022

Today is Julian’s 12th Angelversary. He’s now been gone three times longer than he was on the planet.

My memories of the earliest dark days 12 years ago are mercifully fuzzy, but I remember having two primary fears. First, that I would forget him. Second, that he would forget me. It didn’t take me long to realize how crazy my first concern was. But the second – would he forget me? – lingered longer.

I grew up in a loving Christian home, and was taught the concept of Heaven at an early age. As I grew older, I shed some of the aspects of religion that didn’t resonate with me, but I’ve always believed in the Heaven part. It always made sense to me that we are, in fact, “spiritual beings having a human experience.” And when this human experience is complete – when the Earth School lessons are learned – of course our souls would go back to where we came from.

Twelve years ago I wondered, what does that mean to my angel Julian? I knew his soul still existed even if his body didn’t… but would I feel his presence? Would I ever see evidence of his spirit in my life? Or might his soul have more important business to attend to?

Today, at the 12-year mark, I can answer that question. I now know it was as silly to worry about him forgetting me as me forgetting him. The answer is YES, I would feel his presence. YES I did, and do, literally see evidence of his spirit in my life.

My family and I get signs from him all the time. Sometimes, the signs are subtle. These signs show up in the little details of life, like finding what we call a “Julian spot” in a busy parking lot, or being assigned room number 312 (his birthday) in a hotel.

Oscar’s dime found shortly after the shooting at Michigan State University

Other times, the evidence of Julian’s energy seems almost magical. Like, the appearance of dimes. Literally, dimes. As in coins, but never pennies or nickels. We regularly receive dimes from Julian in places where they absolutely did not exist before. Dimes show up when we need a little a wave from our angel to let us know he’s with us. They show up at the best of times, and at the worst of times. Recently, Julian sent his brother Oscar a dime immediately after a terrifying mass shooting on Oscar’s college campus. When we need a little boost from beyond, he sends us a dime.

And then there are times when the signs are so ridiculously huge, it makes us laugh. Like a few months ago, when my husband and I were driving Oscar to begin his first year of college. Here we were, traveling across the country for this huge milestone… and at the exact same time, Julian’s face was smiling over Times Square. Yes of course there were humans involved — the Children’s Cancer Research Fund had contacted us months earlier to request our permission to include Julian in a fundraising project in New York City — but the timing of that was all Julian. His brother was literally on the road to college, and Julian made it clear that he was on this journey with us.

Twelve years ago, I worried that Julian might forget me. Today I know he never will. From parking spots to dimes to a billboard in Times Square, he is with me everywhere always.

 
3 Comments

Posted by on March 3, 2023 in Angelversaries

 

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3 responses to “Everywhere always.

  1. Amy Stark

    March 3, 2023 at 4:12 pm

    Another wonderful reminder of this precious soul. I still have his picture on my bulletin board in my mud room. His smile brings me joy as I walk out to face my day. I love the idea of his face smiling on all those New Yorkers especially as Oscar and as heading off to college. Thank you for sharing this story. Blessings on your family.
    Amy Stark former Children’s staff at Meetinghouse Church (Colonial)

     
  2. Mickey Coppage

    March 3, 2023 at 8:09 pm

    Beautiful thoughts, Emily. He truly will always be with you!

     
  3. Anonymous

    March 10, 2023 at 6:42 pm

    So profound and beautiful!

     

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