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There and here.

03 Mar

img_1565Today is Julian’s sixth Angelversary. Six years since he lost his battle with leukemia and left the planet. In the early days, I couldn’t imagine how I would be able to live without him. Six years later, I’m living… but I’m not without him. Because he is both “there” and here.

Every once in a while, someone will shyly ask me, “Do you ever sense that he is with you? Do you communicate with him? Do you get signs from him?” And the answer is yes, yes, and yes. Constantly… if I’m paying attention.

Sometimes it’s little things, like looking at the clock when it reads exactly on the hour (to which I always respond, “Hi baby!”). Or, a parking lot that is completely full, except for the spot closest to the door (in our family, that’s known as the “Julian Spot”). Sometimes it’s coins crossing my path unexpectedly, dimes especially. Sometimes these are isolated events, but often they have a frequency. For example, in the past 24 hours, I estimate that I’ve seen the clock at X:00 at least 7 times. That’s not a coincidence, that’s Julian saying “Hi. I’m with you. Always, but especially today.”

Sometimes the gifts from Julian make me laugh in their awesomeness. As I’ve shared before, it’s because of Julian that we are good friends with a famous chef. He’s in the process of opening a new restaurant, and we recently received an invitation for a friends-and-family preview night before they open. The event is on March 12th, the day that would have been Julian’s 10th birthday. This was not a coincidence, this was Julian saying, “It’s my 10th birthday, and I’ve arranged a special dinner for you to celebrate!”

Sometimes Julian sends Earth Angels to protect my family. For example, when my parents were on a train in Russia, they were discussing their plans for getting to their hotel after disembarking at their station. There weren’t many English speakers on that train, but it turns out there was one in earshot. Not only was she listening to their conversation, she was the type of kind person who approached them and explained that their train wouldn’t be stopping at that station on that particular day. Not only did she help them figure out an alternate plan, she negotiated directly with the cab driver to make sure they paid a fair price for their journey. AND she stopped by the hotel the next day to make sure they arrived safely. This wasn’t just random. This was Julian saying, “I’m always watching over you. I see that you’re vulnerable right now. The plan you made can not happen today. I’m sending an Earth Angel to help you.”

My whole family has these experiences. Sometimes we share them with each other, sometimes we keep them to ourselves. But what we all know for sure is that Julian is not gone. He is obviously “there” in Heaven or whatever label we chose to use, but he is also very much HERE with us, all the time. And he confirms that message frequently, when we’re paying attention.

He is the puffy white clouds reflected in a mirror-like lake. The line between “down here” and “up there” becomes almost imperceptible. His spirit is communicating directly with us, just like the beauty of the sky is literally visible here on Earth. He is there AND here.

img_0363p.s. This past year I started making art again after many years. I created an artwork based on this visual metaphor, and it was selected to be included in a show called Spirit: Made Here in downtown Minneapolis. They even interviewed me and made a video about my work. The inspiration for this work of art, as well as the acceptance into the show, was yet another gift from Julian.

 
11 Comments

Posted by on March 3, 2017 in Angelversaries, year 6

 

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11 responses to “There and here.

  1. Jade Clewis

    March 3, 2017 at 2:58 pm

    Emily,
    I have been reading your blog since March 2012 and can’t express in words how it has touched me.
    On March 16th, 2011 we lost our precious son Mason to cancer at the age of 10.
    Just as you were saying in today’s post about Julian sending you earth Angels and letting you know he is here with you…I know that Mason sent me to your blog to let me know I’m not alone. There are lots of coinsendences between our beautiful boys…they both lost their battle to cancer, both in March and both in 2011.
    The feelings you are able to put into words are often the same feelings I have but have been unable to communicate them. I thank you so much for having the courage to put your emotions out into the world for all to share and learn from.
    Julian would be (is) so proud of his mommy!
    Thinking of your Angel today and grateful for you!
    Jade Clewis
    Moose Jaw, Sask
    Canada

     
  2. Susan Eaton

    March 3, 2017 at 3:10 pm

    Emily, that is so beautiful and so true! We love you!!!!!!

     
  3. Beth Jacob

    March 3, 2017 at 4:01 pm

    The ” Julian spot” – that is genius! Thank you for sharing your journey, it has been such a gift and an inspiration. For me, it has been a testament to grace and love that crosses dimensions. It reminds me of the connectedness of everything, from our time on earth, to our time beyond, to earth angels, to parking spots and tops of the hour. Beautiful.

    Love to you all-
    Beth

     
  4. Tom and darlene lund

    March 3, 2017 at 4:21 pm

    Juliann”s birthday is in our birthday book…and we are reaching out to you and your family. To thank you for the blessings we have received through you. Sending love tom and darlene lund]]]]]

     
  5. Anonymous

    March 3, 2017 at 4:48 pm

    Emily, you continue to inspire. Thinking of you all today! Barbara

     
  6. Nicola Kapala

    March 3, 2017 at 4:51 pm

    Oh dear friend, your words bring tears and so many emotions. Most of all heart opening gratitude and love for you and your family. Your grace is an inspiration to all of us that deal with losing a child, or any grief for that matter. Thank you for doing your work and sharing it with us.

     
  7. Deborah Mathews

    March 3, 2017 at 5:12 pm

    Beautiful! Deb

    On Fri, Mar 3, 2017 at 1:59 PM, creating “new normal” wrote:

    > Emily Eaton posted: ” Today is Julian’s sixth Angelversary. Six years > since he lost his battle with leukemia and left the planet. In the early > days, I couldn’t imagine how I would be able to live without him. Six years > later, I’m living… but I’m not without him. Because he” >

     
  8. Georgann Fuller

    March 5, 2017 at 1:31 pm

    Emily, thank you for sharing your experiences with Julian. You openness is a gift to all of us.
    Love,
    Georgann

     
  9. esther omutere

    March 7, 2017 at 2:08 am

    Thanks for the update. I am also preparing for the second angelversary of my son Engineer Ken on 13th April, he is also very much in heaven and around. He appears to me in dreams to give his opinion when needed.

     
  10. ~Christy

    March 29, 2017 at 5:23 pm

    Absolutely stunning. And what a sacred reminder that those we love never leave us, even if our experience of them changes. Awareness and presence, an openness and willingness to receive are key. Of which you and your family know so well. Thank you for sharing your story with us. And congratulations on the art project!

     

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