The beauty of life (and loss).

03 Mar

Today marks four years since my sweet Julian completed his assignment here on Earth, and transcended to whatever comes next. He died just before his fourth birthday, so that means he has now been gone longer than he was here.

But today I don’t want to dwell on the loss. Instead, I want to share perhaps the most beautiful video I have ever seen. I invite you to watch it, and join me in honoring Julian’s memory with the beauty in this journey we call life:

Because this is the four-year mark, I’ll share four parts of the lyrics that are significant — and True-with-a-capital-T — to me:

1. Our souls are here on assignment.

We’re on assignment.
Bodies on consignment.
Before Julian died, I didn’t spend much time thinking about where our souls came from, why we’re here, or where we go next. Now, there’s no doubt in my mind that our souls here to learn something specific. Our physical bodies in this lifetime are “on consignment.” When our assignment is complete, we have no more need for this body, and we transcend to what’s next. Julian completed his assignment four years ago. I (hopefully) still have many years to go before my soul’s assignment is complete, but I know that a big part of it is to learn how to survive the loss of a child. I can chose to resist this, or I can choose to accept it. I wish it were different, but I accept it.

2. We’re here to make a difference.

…in this existence,
I’ll stay persistent.
I’ll make a difference,
and I will have lived it.

Julian never even reached his fourth birthday, but he made a huge difference in the world. We all can take inspiration from his memory and ask ourselves, what difference are we making? Are we persistent? When our time is up, will we have really lived it?

3. Our inner guide will help us survive loss.

I cry for the creatures who get left behind;
everything will change in a blink of an eye.
And if you wish to survive,
you will find the guide inside.

We all experience loss. What happens next, and whether we survive it or not, is up to us. If we wish to survive — and some people don’t — we must find that survival instinct within ourselves. Our inner guide is waiting to be found.

4. We are privileged to have the responsibility of this lifetime.
Aloha, Aloha Ke Akua, Ke Akua,
Aloha, Aloha, Kuleana, Kuleana.

The literal translation of Aloha Ke Akua means “God is Love,” and Kuleana is defined as “the privilege of responsibility.” This message is a beautiful reminder that life is a gift; it is our honor and privilege to live our best life regardless of the ups and downs.

On this day, I give thanks for the years I had with Julian. Even on the days I want to rage against my loss, I accept it as part of my soul’s assignment. I recognize it as my privilege and my responsibility to carry his memory forward as I do my best to make a difference in this life.

Posted by on March 3, 2015 in Angelversaries, year 4


7 responses to “The beauty of life (and loss).

  1. Jade Clewis

    March 3, 2015 at 9:56 pm

    I first came across your posts last year around the same time and I couldn’t help but feel it was meant to be.
    I lost my beautiful son Mason also, on March 16 2011 at the tender age of 10 after a brave battle with cancer as well.
    I wanted to thank you for what you do to honour your son and to encourage others, your light shines through your words. Every March I struggle but believe in a lot of what you do, that they were here for a purpose and were able to touch many lives in a short time.
    God bless you today and always.
    Jade Clewis

  2. sarjabar

    March 3, 2015 at 11:20 pm

    You, and Julian, have made a difference. Thank you for accepting the challenge that leads every parent’s fear, and taking the path that makes a positive difference to all you touch. You walk a path of courage and faith, and your followers listen. I listen. Thank you, Emily. 🙏

  3. Steve Richardson

    March 3, 2015 at 11:32 pm

    Sawyer, our 1st GRANDson is 50 months old today. His younger brother, Graham is 31 months old today. The little guy, Owen is 5+ months old today! You’re memories of Julian cause me to be grateful and mindful of the Grace we receive . . . I pray today that your pain will diminish with time and that the blessing of warm memories will comfort! Thank you for your ministry of sharing so openly! You are a Blessing to parents, GRANDparents and all those who love our little ones! You help us focus on the blessings, not on the pain!

  4. Leanne (Trebilcock) Avila

    March 4, 2015 at 12:36 pm

    Such a hauntingly beautiful video. Thank you for sharing it and your words. Thinking of you and your family…

  5. E.C. Fernandez

    March 4, 2015 at 3:55 pm

    I came across your blog before my twins passed away. I have been struggling ever since and I can not thank you enough how much your blog meant to me. There were days when I read 30-40 times over and over again and said to myself that i can make it through. I’m so thankful for your strength.

  6. Amber James

    January 1, 2016 at 9:48 pm

    I stumbled across your page and although my loss was not my child, your message inspired me in such a way that I had to comment and say thank you. I lost my husband, John in April 2014. He died by suicide. He was only 32 years old and we have three beautiful children. I have been struggling with acceptance and I feel this “stumble” was no accident. I needed to hear your words and I feel a sense of empowerment and I am able to exhale a deep breathe I had been holding in since the day I found my beloved John. Thank you for sharing your story and what a beautiful song you shared in memory of your sweet boy. The words spoke sweetly to me from the song.. I used to live in Hawaii and I miss the island culture and spirit of Aloha. God bless you and your family!

    • Emily Eaton

      January 2, 2016 at 8:04 am

      Amber, thank you for sharing your story with me. I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. I’m glad my words brought you some inspiration. My thoughts are with you as you move forward in your own journey.


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