I have skimmed, or started and abandoned, many books that talk (and talk… and talk…) about how horrible it is to lose a child. I know how hard it is. I’m living my own worst nightmare right now. But reading about the horribleness of it isn’t helpful to me.
I would have expected that, given how horrible this experience is, there must be people out there writing books and blogs about, “it’s horrible… and here is my story of how I moved forward from that experience.” But, no. Not that I’ve found so far.
I recently skimmed a book called “New Normal” (selected based on it’s title, which is obviously similar to the title of this blog). It had a section on specific losses: spouse, parent, friend, job, pet. No section on losing a child. What? The author included job and pet, but not child? At the back of the book, a Q&A section included a question about that, and the author basically said that the loss of a child was too significant to summarize in a few paragraphs. I think that was a total cop-out.
Losing a child is something that no one wants to talk, think, or write about it. But it doesn’t change the fact that there are people like me who need inspiration, motivation, and hope that the future can be better than the present.
Where are the messages of hope? What are the techniques for cherishing my son’s memories, and bringing them forward with me into a future that includes joy and happiness again?
I’m determined to find them.